Sunday 29 April 2012

Live and Drunk



The Malt 'n' Music summer night is live music night and there is a grave danger that the Malt 'n' Music men will all turn up in their 30 year old tour T-shirts and embroidered denim jackets! However, due to too many beers being drunk since the heady teenage days of metal concerts only recent T-shirts will cover the middle-age beer bellies! So everyone is respectfully attired apart from Malt 'n' Music man himself who turns up late after playing football complete in his replica Holland shirt - feeling a bit of a lemon (or should that be an orange!) in complete football strip - he sits well away from everyone else after-all whiskey should be enjoyed neat or at a stretch with ice but at all times the aroma should never be mixed with stale sweat!

The Little Drummer Boy is hosting and all the latest technology is at our fingertips as we relive the great gigs of our distance youth. The PM is first among equals and shows us a glimpse of his undemocratic youth with a 80's prog rock song about revolution - how big a step has he taken from youthful Guevara hopeful to Cheshire's hopeful but never elected candidate? And surely thats a bigger step than from 80's prog to Floyd!!

Next up is the host himself and he's handing out songsheets! The beauty of these themed nights is that the theme is never defined so its open to interpretation - confessing that he doesn't own a live recording of anything the Little Drummer Boy is going to make us sing... The only problem is that at only the 2nd song in we are nowhere near drunk enough... somewhere in the dark recesses of youtube is a video recorded by the Mav. please if you do happen to stumble across it for the sake of music and art leave it undisturbed.

As we thundered on through an englishman on holiday, shed tears in heaven and listened to Smashie (or was it Nicey?!) get a confession off his chest as he kept abreast with a young hopeful singer's career (don't ask - what goes on at Malt 'n' Music stays at Malt 'n' Music) - the Little Drummer Boy fired up the ovens.

Next up was Nicey (or was it Smashie?!) promising us a ballad, this you have to understand is like the PM promising us Pink Floyd, the young 'un declaring that he had brought another CD, the Mav bringing something other than Pease Pudding, anyone of us going home sober, the quizmaster annunciating allegorical, a sign of the end times!

What we did discover was that by ballad he meant the first 8 bars and then the rest of the song was as hard rocking as ever!  By the time we had discovered this, survived the flood and the boy had eventually been persuaded to hoe corn unfortunately the half time chips were cremated! There was plenty of other fayre to line our stomachs with though - Pease Pudding from the Mav of course!!

The half time quiz was to match pictures of a venue with artists for people's favourite gig - did we really have a picture of 1980's Genesis at the Manchester Apollo (whoops what goes on at Malt 'n' Music stays at Malt 'n' Music - Too late!)

The second half of the evening was a fine mix of live music from start to finish with more 80's prog (much more self-indulgent in the 2nd half) hard rock, blues, singer-songwriter, pop and even a 60's classic.

It fell to the host to bring the evening to a close - which meant we were all singing again - but much whiskey, wine and beer had flowed so free of inhibitions the fishermen had a few more friends...




Malt 'n' Music 4
Live With Drunkenness
Track List

  1. Market Square Heroes - Marillion
  2. No Hopers, Jokers and Rogues - Fisherman's Friends
  3. An Englishman on Holiday - Thunder
  4. Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton
  5. She's a Star - James
  6. What Is and What Should Never Be - Jimmy Page & The Black Crows
  7. Here Comes the Flood - Peter Gabriel
  8. The Boy who Wouldn't Hoe Corn - Philip Henry & Hannah Martin
  9. Calling All the Heroes - It Bites
  10. Fool for Your Loving - Whitesnake
  11. Creepshow - Twelfth Night
  12. Stewart's Coat - Ricky Lee Jones
  13. Asking Around for You - Joe Bonamassa
  14. You Really Got Me - The Kinks
  15. Round Here - Counting Crows
  16. Bully in the Alley - Fisherman's Friends

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Unlike Father Unlike Son



It's OSCAR night at M'n'M as for the third gathering the theme chosen is soundtracks, music written for or featured in films. As we were all carefully planning our two tracks Smashie and Nicey were also prepared carefully for the night and it paid off as they managed to enter the right house first time! 

The young 'un was hosting, the guy with only one CD, and the first thing we all notice is there is music everywhere. There is row upon row of vinyl and before the evening begins we are all pawing over the collection and bragging how many LP's we had in our day! The young 'un assures us this is only the tip of the iceberg and there is much more in other rooms in the house...

The young 'un still lives with Ma & Pa and it turns out that the young 'un's Pa is quite a muso - and we all want to ask how his lad turned out so musically challenged - but the young 'un's Pa has been banished from the house so instead we deposit our pies in the kitchen, the posters of our best loved films in the brown envelope for half time and settle down for the first half with our favourite tipple in hand.

As you would expect with a muso dad the hi-fi is sounding fantastic but the young 'un is not cranking up the volume - Quizmaster quizzes him and he mutters something about neighbours!

But Little Drummer Boy needs to wire in his ipad so we can listen to his first track - the young 'un is becoming nervous - Little Drummer Boy dives in around the back rewiring as he goes - the young 'un is now looking pale - again Quizmaster lives up to his name - 'What's up young 'un?'

As he leaves the room he replies 'I can't watch this - someone tell him to be careful - my dad only bought it this week!'

Once Little Drummer Boy has finished the operation the young 'un is sort and reassured that all is fine - he returns looking less frightened and we resume - he seems blissfully unaware that in his absence we also persuaded Little Drummer Boy to whip up the volume a bit!!

The evening roles through to the credits in a mixture of theme tunes, classical pieces and rock songs. Some great acceptance speeches along the way with Smashie (or is it Nicey) getting the OSCAR for best name drop award as he introduces a track by the Cure with a story about meeting Mr Smith in a cemetery!

As the ceremony comes to an end, little after show parties break out and Quizmaster and Malt 'n' Music Man slip outside for a crafty cigar - as they are putting the world to rights Smashie and Nicey leave shouting goodnight and turning right out of the young 'un's drive.

Malt 'n' Music Man (to Quizmaster): 'You've lived in the village longer than me so I may be wrong but if you turn right here there is no way out is there?'

Quizmaster: 'No you have to turn left'

Malt 'n' Music Man: 'Oh thought so'

Quizmaster: 'Why?'

Malt 'n' Music Man: 'No reason - but if I were Smashie or Nicey I'd be wondering how long I would have to  wait until we have gone back inside before retracing my steps...!'

Quizmaster: 'Lets wait and see...'

Ten minutes later Smashie & Nicey strode purposely past without even looking and finally chose the right track home!





Malt 'n' Music 3
Soundtracks
Track List

  1. Intermezzo - Cavaleria Rusticana/Mascagni - Raging Bull
  2. Main Titles - Band of Brothers - Band of Brothers
  3. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin - School of Rock
  4. Self Preservation Society - Italian Job Cast - The Italian Job
  5. Pretty in Pink - Psychedelic Furs - Pretty in Pink
  6. I am a Man of Constant Sorrows - Saggy Bottom Boys - Oh Brother Where Art Thou
  7. James Bond Theme - John Barry - Dr No
  8. Hey Bulldog - The Beatles -Yellow Submarine
  9. Cocaine - JJ Cale - Starsky & Hutch
  10. The Weight - The Band - Easy Rider
  11. Un Bel di Vedremo - Puccini - Madame Butterfly
  12. Jump (for my love) - Girls Aloud - Love Actually
  13. Close to Me - The Cure - Son of Rambow
  14. She Caught the Katy - The Blues Brothers - The Blues Brothers
  15. The Pink Panther - Henry Mancini - The Pink Panther
  16. James Bond Theme - Moby - The World is Not Enough
  17. Suicide is Painless - Manic Street Preachers - M*A*S*H
  18. Something - Paul McCartney & Eric Clapton - Concert for George
  19. The Empire Strikes Back - John Williams - The Empire Strikes Back
  20. Try a Little Tenderness - Otis Redding - The Road